Love
He leads me …
The story is told of a girl who stayed for dinner at a friend’s home. The meal was ready and the girl was asked by the mother whether she liked broccoli. The child politely replied, “Oh, yes, I love it!” The broccoli was passed over to her, but she declined to take any. The mother said, “I thought you said you loved broccoli.” The girl responded, “Oh, yes, I do, but not enough to eat it.”
Do we love our fellow Christians? “Definitely.” we say, “After all, the Lord commanded us to love one another. Of course we love God’s people!” Well, then, why are we not on speaking terms some of the people in our church? Did they block us from getting that leadership position with the Youth Group? Or, why is it that they are good friends with others but not with us?
Yes, we love broccoli, but not enough to eat it. We love other Christians, but not enough to work out our differences.[1]
As Jesus said to Peter in the Garden of Gethsemane, “The spirit is willing, but the body is weak!” Matthew 26:41
And as Paul said in Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
No one said that it was easy being a Christian. Showing Christian love the way Jesus wants us to, can be really hard. Not only did Christ's dying reveal real love, He also said that love without the giving of ourselves, is not love at all. We see that words are cheap, but love can be costly.[2]
However, this love is not all about giving. There are personal advantages too.
The sort of love that Jesus referred to throughout His ministry is agape love. Agape ("aga-pay") is the love that we have for God, strangers and nature. It is sometimes called charity and includes the understanding of altruism, which is the unselfish concern for the welfare of others.
Studies have shown that altruism has a number of benefits. At the time, an altruistic act leaves us with a stimulating feeling, the so-called ‘helper’s high’. We also get this when we are part of something that the Lord has done with our involvement. Over a period of time altruism has been shown to help with better mental and physical health, and even to enabling us to live longer.[3]
The love that Jesus showed others can be part of our lives too. Jesus’s ministry shows us several ways that we can love those in our lives more like Him. This list simply sets out practices that can provide us with a starting point to apply in our lives.
To love like Jesus, we should -
· Be mindful of others. We need to connect more deeply with the people in our lives, rather being detached and disconnected. This means that we try to relate to them and their situations.
· Be approachable. It’s important for people to feel safe when they deal with us. To do this we must become more welcoming to those who come to us.
· Be full of grace. We must be willing to relate to others rather than being judgmental in any way.
· Be confident. We have to overcome our fears, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7, ESV).
· Be self-giving. We need to become less self-absorbed and more involved with those around us.
Jesus continually demonstrated these qualities and we can see that they are actually achievable standards. They enable us to work towards a heavenly ideal.[4]
Another writer considered these abilities -
· Lift up the broken, expand the small, and support the weak. We can copy the love and care Christ showed to the poor, the marginalized, and the sick. We can also be kind to children and those who are socially disadvantaged. Basically we show love by giving priority to those who do not have anybody supporting them.
· Have patience with each other. According to Peter, God longs for each of us to have a good relationship with Him. If a truly incredible God can show His grace toward us despite our stubbornness, we should be able to show some of the same grace to one another. Patience when there is also frustration and ordeals is a clear example of biblical love.
· Be generous. The Bible continually shows us that that living with love means giving with love. But generosity is not just about money. If we follow the example of Christ and others in the Bible, we see that being generous means giving with kindness, encouraging others, and offering our good works to people in need.
· Do not withhold forgiveness. When we are hurt, it is easy to develop bitterness, even after apologies have been made. True forgiveness sets us free and brings us closer to God. Scripture tells us that forgiveness is the path to wholeness.
· Let our ‘Yes’ mean yes, and our ‘No’ mean no. Living a life of truth is, perhaps, one of the clearest ways to show God’s love to those around us. It is not just honesty. It is keeping our word. Being truthful creates trust from others and is so important for Christians because we serve a God whose example for us is truth and love. True love is shown when we consider our words and actions carefully before we say anything.[5]
Even if these attributes seem to be hard for us to do at the moment, the more we develop our relationship with the Lord the easier they will become. Yes, this is the process of sanctification, where the Holy Spirit works in us to make us more like Jesus.
Let us not worry about the things that the world has to offer, which actually do not truly fulfil us. It is so much better for others and us too, if we focus on the things that really matter, and can have eternal consequences.
[1] Colossians 3:14-15, Steven J. Cole, Bible.org; https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-22-priority-love-colossians-314-15
[2] Practical Love, 1 John 3:16-18 by Dr Paul Adams, Words at Work; https://www.wordatwork.org.uk/1-john/practical-love
[3] These Are the 7 Types of Love, Neel Burton M.D, Reviewed by Lybi Ma, Deputy Editor of Psychology Today, Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-love
[4] How to Love Like Jesus, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS); https://www.symbis.com/blog/how-to-love-like-jesus/
[5] 5 Ways the Bible Shows Us How to Live with Love, Debbie Holloway, Crosswalk: https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/5-ways-the-bible-shows-us-how-to-live-with-love.html
