He leads me …

In Part One we looked at how the Bible showed that a person who has been sexually immoral should be dealt with by the church. This this part we shall look at what Jesus said should be done when the sin committed is a more private matter. In Matthew 18:15-17 in the New Living Translation we read Jesus’ words -

“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”

Before we look at how to talk to other believers about the sin in their lives we should first make sure that we are personally free of criticism too. Jesus is quite clear about this. In Matthew 7:2-4 in the New Living Translation we read –

“For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?”

We are not going to have any credibility if we try and tell people about their sin when we have obvious problems of our own. Once we have our own life in order we can then try and help those we see who are sinning. It is not a case of being critical, trying to put them down or trying to show our superiority. Jesus says that we are to love our brothers and sisters in the church.

The way to do it is to -

·      Restore the person to the right place with Jesus (1Corinthians 5:4),

·      Protect the rest of the church (1 Corinthians 5:6), and

·      Honour Jesus in what we say and do (1 Corinthians 5:1).

Jesus gives us the steps of what to do in Matthew 18:15-17. In the New Living Translation it reads –

Step 1 - “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful,

Step 2 - “take one or two others with you (from the church) and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen,

Step 3 - “take your case to the church (leadership). Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision,

Step 4 - “treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”

Let us look at this a bit more in detail.

Step 1 – If the person does not know Jesus as their Lord, they may not understand that what they are doing is wrong because no one has spoken to them about the standards Jesus expects of His followers. This may be the opportunity to gently share with them the Gospel, and encourage them to take the step of faith in accepting Jesus into their life.

Alternatively they may realise that being a Christian involves a serious commitment and change in lifestyle, and they are not ready for that yet. If this is the case, it is fair to let them go but to try and keep some sort of ongoing contact in case there is a change of heart.

If the person is a born again Christian, a gentle comment explaining what has been seen should be enough for them to consider what has been said. Then under the conviction of the Holy Spirit they will sort out the matter through prayer with the Lord.

Depending on the sin, counsel from someone in church leadership as well as gently confronting the brother or sister may be appropriate. The confrontation may be on someone else’s behalf, such as with a woman who feels unsafe after someone made inappropriate advances. Or it could be someone who has been bullied and needs us to confront the bully.

Whatever has happened, the Lord does not want any gossip, and any confrontation should be done privately, quietly, face to face, and with love. We should be prepared too to have more than one discussion if it is necessary. Whatever happens, we should pray for the people involved.

Step 2 – This step occurs if the professing Christian continues with what they are doing wrong and does not appear to be making an effort to change. In taking another one or two people to talk further with them it may be appropriate to have a member of the church leadership involved. This step is giving the sinner a second chance, but at the same time letting them know that what has been done needs to be addressed. The sinner also sees that there are witnesses which means that each person can be held accountable for what they say.

Jesus has asked for this step to be included (verse 16) because it provides some protection for the sinner and it gives the witnesses a chance to see whether the sin is being addressed correctly, rather than just being critical about the person in question. We are following Jesus’ teaching as well as accepted democratic practice by presuming that the sinner is innocent until they are proven guilty.

Step 3 – If after some ongoing discussion by the group involved with step 2 there is still no change with the sinner, the matter then goes to the church leadership to determine the best course of action. This may involve coming to a mutual agreement on what to do next and/or getting the sinner some Christian counselling.

Step 4 – If after some time of allowing the sinner to address their sin with the help of a suitably qualified person, there is still no change then the church leadership cannot accept the sinner’s profession of faith as completely valid. This does not mean that the church is declaring the sinner to be a non-Christian, nor does it mean that the church is condemning the person to hell. It does not have that power. Only God can do that.

If the church leadership feel that it is right to share their decision with the church members they must not get involved in anything that could be considered gossip. A brief overview of the situation is given to enable the church members to understand what has happened, and to see that the correct procedure has been followed. Then a motion can be called saying that, ‘The elders recommend that the congregation remove (name) from membership for unrepentant behaviour as an act of discipline.’

The members can then discuss the issue and ask any questions. They may decide that the sinner can attend public meetings to be able to sit under the preaching, but not be able to be involved with any privileges like communion. Alternatively the person may be excommunicated from the church. Either way, a vote is taken to determine the final outcome.

By using correct discipline in the church, Christ’s call to holiness and repentance is being honoured.[1]

[1] In Search Of Church Discipline, Bill Muehlenberg, CultureWatch.com

https://billmuehlenberg.com/1998/02/23/in-search-of-church-discipline/